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i know i was just as confused and amused as pretty much everyone else when i was reading the news online on sunday and saw the breaking story that republic lawyer Ted Whittington had been hospitalized after being shot in the face by vice president Dick Cheney while quail hunting on saturday. the Duck Hunt parodies flew all over the internet pretty quickly, just as i expected they would.
what made it all worthwhile was the Daily Show's coverage on it last night. THESE - THREE - CLIPS are among the funniest i've seen from the Daily Show in months.
there, they did their think and made fun of it all while adding a tinge of social commentary, end of story, right?
oh, its never that simple.

this afternoon, my sister sent me this article on how the "stabilized" Ted Whittington had A HEART ATTACK when a piece of birdshot moved and lodged itself in his heart!

He said later, however, that the single BB-like piece of birdshot is "in a fixed position" and is not expected to travel. Blanchard said he and other doctors treating Whittington feel "very strongly that all the other birdshot in him is not problematic." The number of other pieces of birdshot in Whittington's body is not known, he said, but could range anywhere from "more than five" to "less than 150 to 200."

and while the article reports that this "injected a more serious tone into reports of the accidental shooting, which had become the subject of jokes on late-night talk shows and the Internet," i couldn't help but find it even more hilarious.
first, it appears that Cheney's heart condition is contagious! either that, or he carries specially designed birdshot that causes minor injuries at first and then goes for your heart! what a maniacally sick bastard!
second, "could range anywhere from 'more than five' to 'less than 150 to 200'?" so this guys heart was shut down by one birdshot, and he's got somewhere between 6 and 199 more in him?! i don't know which is worse, the fact that there's that much crap floating around in him waiting to cause more harm, the fact that the range of numbers is that great, or how they came across those numbers. did they see at least five birdshot just laying about him in an x-ray and then run a test to determine that there were not 200? how do you get those numbers?
third, i can't help but think this is the absolute perfect time to bring up legislation regarding greater gun control laws. Cheney here is the perfect poster boy for a boy playing with a gun.
AND THE GUY WAS A FREAKING REPUBLICAN LAWYER! aren't they (the Bush administration) supposed to be all over those guys (republican lawyers) like skin on public school cafeteria pudding? (i almost went for a vietnamese prostitute joke there, but nothing seemed appropriate, so i went for a more all-ages thing)

anyway, hilarious. at least we can laugh at this administration and then cry about it when we have no social security later on.